“Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24
Have you ever really taken the time to evaluate your words--the things you say (verbally and internally) every day and how those words impact the world? Sadly, most people never do. It’s all about awareness and perspective. Whether we recognize it or not, our words have the power to bless or to curse. The two realms where we have this impact is in the words we speak to ourselves and the words we speak to others.
Let’s focus on self-talk. We each have a story we are telling ourselves. True or not, this story is shaped by our beliefs and values. This about this. You tell yourself what you believe. You believe what you tell yourself. Go back and read that again. It is a continuous cycle. If you want to change what you are believing about yourself, you need to change the narrative or the story you’ve been telling yourself.
We often create our own self-fulfilling prophecies without even realizing it. For example, if I tell myself that I have no self-control and I am destined to be overweight, I will be stuck in that reality. I will probably not take any action toward becoming healthy. I will not see the opportunities for health even if they are right in front of me because of my narrow focus and mindset.
However, if I change the narrative and tell myself that, yes, I have a few extra pounds, but I desire to be healthy, I desire to be active and I am on a journey to be healthy, I will start to see myself in this light and my behavior will follow. And opportunities to improve my health that I would have previously missed just seem to “show up” because I am open to them. My self-talk can change my belief which in turn can change my behavior and my health. Our lives will move in the direction of our words.
What about the words we speak to others?
“The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.” Proverbs 15:4
Do your words give life or do they crush the spirit?
We affirm things about people all the time, positively and negatively without even thinking about it. If I say to a friend, “you are always late,” that is probably not 100 percent true. I could probably collect evidence on both sides (being on time versus being late). However, I am affirming their behavior, so this person may actually start meeting my expectation 100 percent of the time, because they know I don’t hold them to a higher standard. Perhaps they will start believing that they are “always late.”
However, if I flip and stretch this affirmation to the positive, “It’s not like you to be late,” they have an opportunity to meet that expectation because now I have a higher standard (or belief) for them. And they have the choice of whether to believe in my belief. We have the awesome responsibility to build others up instead of tearing them down.
We all know this, right? We can collect evidence that is positive or negative for the people in our lives. What we focus on increases (or gets bigger in our mind). Our focus needs to be on the positive. When we affirm others, they can see themselves from our perspective which often makes them want to meet our expectations, and their behavior will often change.
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